BankerGirl

Posted by Heidi on July 21st, 2008 in marriage, wedding

Between my good friend’s wedding in August and my own pending nuptuals in October, it’s all weddings all of the time at my house. 

Matt and I started our wedding registry last weekend, and it went pretty well.  The whole day was almost entirely without incident until it was time to select the flatware.  Matt wanted to register for the $40 20-piece set at Target, while I thought that this was the opportunity for us to finally have some nice silverware (even if it isn’t actually silver).  I found a set I liked at a department store for $35 for a five piece setting  - when I looked at the price I was pleased to note that this was one of the least expensive options available.  Score!

We went six rounds on the $35-a-set flatware. 

Matt made an excellent point - you can just as easily get food to your mouth with a $2 fork as a $7 - but for that matter - we could keep eating off of the utensils we already have - the mismatched “set” that was the result of combining our households three years ago works just fine.

Matt said that he would be embarrassed to have someone buy him a “$7 spoon.”  My rebuttal: “at least it’s not a $30 spoon, like this one over here.” And so it went.

The whole process has led me to wonder: just what is the purpose of a bridal registery?  To set up house?  If that’s the case - we’re already pretty set.  We’ve been getting by with the made-for-college-cheapies and hand-me-downs for years.  I don’t think there’s anything that says married people are required to have matching flatware.

I wish I were more evolved (or less broke) and willing to just register with my favorite non-profit organization and donate all wedding gifts to charity, but there are some things we’ve been putting off buying in anticipation of this moment.  Plus, after years of gift-buying for others, I feel a bit of entitlement to this bridal rite-of-passage.

I know that new flatware and dishes and bedding won’t make our marriage any happier, but I do know that I’ve been putting off buying good cookware because I knew that this day is coming.  We’re trying to live more simply, so we’re not registering for a bunch of crap - there are no candles or chotchkes on our registry - but there are a few things we’ve been wanting - stuff we would never buy ourselves.   For example, I’ve been looking forward to getting an immersion blender and salad spinner for years - and Matt desperately wants a giant hammock and an accompanying stand. 

But really, how much is too much?  How much is enough?

Part of me really wanted to register for the Vera Wang china and the complete 15-piece All-Clad cookware - but that seemed excessive.  I thought that the flatware seemed pretty reasonable. 

So I ask the readers, what are your thoughts on bridal registries? 

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Posted by Heidi on July 16th, 2008 in family, household spending, track expenses

As I’ve mentioned before, I grew up on a farm - an environment where one learns that it’s best not to get too attached to an animal of any species.  Steers become steak, hogs become bacon, and pet-like critters such dogs and cats wander off or get into vicious fights with opossums and raccoons.   That’s the reality of farm life.

We never had an animal that lived inside our home, and I was raised to believe that four-legged friends belong outdoors at all times.

Matt first mentioned his desire to adopt a pet several years ago.  I immediately dismissed it as a crazy idea and didn’t give it much thought until a work friend that I admire mentioned that she and her husband had adopted a pup from a local animal shelter, and they were really enjoying him.  We had just moved into a house with a nice, fenced-in yard, and I liked the idea of ‘rescuing’ a mutt, so I started looking online for dogs that needed a good home.  Matt and I talked about the “start-up” expenses (kennel, leash, collar, tags, etc) and ongoing “maintenance” (annual vet checks, food, boarding) and decided to go for it.

A few weeks later, Gretchen came into our lives. 

That was two years ago. 

Life with a dog has been different than I thought it would be.  I thought that I would have a detached relationship with a pet, but she’s totally become a family member.  I spoil that mutt to such an extent that I don’t recognize myself.  For example, I was certain that I would be the doggie disciplinarian - but it was me, not Matt, who relented and allowed her on the furniture after a mere two weeks , reneging my own ‘no dogs on the couch’ rule.  And I’m the one that cooks up special doggie meals with dinner’s chicken, carrot, and rice leftovers.

Who knew that I’d be such a sucker for floppy ears?

Soaring gas prices, the wedding, and our general desire to become more thrifty has got me looking carefully at all of our expenses, included those associated with Gretch.  Matt pays for vet visits and dog food, so how is it possible that I spent $400 last year on our dog?  The only thing I buy for her is treats and toys.

I spent $400 on treats and toys for my dog.  Woof!

This year we’ve taken a different approach to Gretchen’s entertainment budget.  We pay $30 a year for access to the dog park, and toy spending has been cut by 70% (after two years of trial-and-error, we’ve finally discovered a handful of toys that are not easily destroyed, and tennis balls and kongs are pretty cheap), and I’ve quit hitting the pet aisle every time I go to Target or the grocery store.

Combined we will probably spend about $700 in 2008 on care and feeding for our dog, and perhaps another $200 - $300 for kennel care when we travel.  Does Gretchen provide us with $1000 with of utility?

Absolutely.

Would I say the same thing if she had a health problem and cost us five or ten times that amount? 

I’m not sure.  Guess we’ll cross that bridge if we get to it. 

At the end of the day, animals are a luxury and a responsibility (and not an accessory) and should not be taken in without careful consideration - but the unconditional love of a pet provides value in ways that can’t be quantified. 

10 Comments

Posted by Heidi on July 14th, 2008 in saving, track expenses, wedding

I mentioned last week that a friend is allowing her bridesmaids to select their own dresses for her August wedding.   There are 7 or 8 little black dresses hanging in my spare bedroom, but I don’t love any of them.  Two of them are ok - I’m keeping at least one for work, but I’ll be sending the rest of them back.

I figure I will get tons of mileage out of a dress that fits well and is flattering, and since the internet has failed me, I’ve been scouring the local malls in search of the perfect LBD.

In the process I have been reminded why I don’t go to malls.  I lack willpower.

Everyone loves a good sale, and naturally my first move is towards the discount racks.  While sorting through the gawd-awful markdowns, one can occasionally find a gem.   

My problem is that I have found dresses that neither black nor appropriate for a wedding, and yet because they are such a ‘good deal’ - I can’t help myself.  I found a Anne Klein that was marked down from $180 to $32 - and it was work-appropriate, and it was a perfect fit.  So I bought it.

Thirty bucks I didn’t budget for and didn’t really need to spend.  And it’s not the only little bargain I’ve picked up this week.  Two new tops and a pair of black pants are now hanging in my closet as well.  Better make that $90 I didn’t budget for.

And to add insult to injury, the search for the perfect black dress rages on.

Usually I beat temptation by avoiding it.  I know that within the walls of a department store lurk all forms of personal kryptonite - shoes, makeup, and clothes.   And because we’re in a borderline recession, there are more ‘deals’ to be had than ever.   I try to apply Trent’s “ten second rule” - and typically I can talk myself out of stuff, but increasing my exposure to temptation has increased the probability that I will cave.

What kinds of Jedi-mind-tricks do you perform to keep your spending in check?   Do you think of the dream house that you’re saving for?  Retiring at age 42?  That trip to Tahiti? 

I welcome your thoughts in the comments section below!

9 Comments

Posted by Heidi on July 11th, 2008 in career, work

One of the “perks” my employer offers is a business casual work environment - for men this means khakis and polo shirts or blue button-downs.  For woman it means, well, I’m not sure, but based on what I see around the office it means as long as you aren’t wearing cutoffs and a tube top, you’re dressed appropriately for the office.

Fridays are jeans days.  People love jeans days.

My firm is one of Fortune’s 100 Best Places to Work.  We’ve been on the list for a few years now, and one of the rewards employees receive in recognition for our ranking is weeks and weeks (months, really) of jeans days.

This has become quite a conundrum for me.

You see, given the choice, my summer uniform would be jeans, a DKNY t-shirt or tunic, and flip-flops.  Too bad flip-flops aren’t allowed as part of our corporate dress-code, I have to wear flats or sandals instead.  In the cooler months I may change it up and wear a sweater or jacket and boots with my jeans.

So I should be celebrating all of these corporate jeans days, right?

Well, not so much. 

My boss doesn’t wear jeans on jeans days.  Neither does his boss.  The president and the rest of the C-suite however has been known to sport jeans, especially on Fridays when there are no investor meetings or media visits.  

Tricky, tricky.

This week I conducted a little wardrobe experiment (it was yet another jeans week).  I trudged into work in a dressed-up version of jeans (trousers, really) on Monday.  On Tuesday I wore a jean skirt.  On Wednesday I said “eff it” and went with my favorite faded blues (with a slightly frayed hem), a t-shirt, and some big jewelry to ‘make it professional’ (yah, right).  Thursday I had an important meeting with the VPs, so wore a suit complete with pumps and hose.

What a difference!

It was as if I became a different person overnight.  I got pulled into a strategic planning session at the last minute.  My peers suddenly looked up to me and deferred to me.  My boss’s boss sought me out to ask my advice.  A director stopped by my desk to ‘chat.’

The only thing that changed from Wednesday to Thursday was my attire. 

It helped that everyone else was wearing jeans.  When you out-dress, you out-class.

10 Comments

Posted by Heidi on July 7th, 2008 in wedding

This is the fourth article in my series: BankerGirl Plans a Wedding - a honest account of my wedding decisions and related expenses as they occur.  New readers can click here to start the series from the beginning. 

Few wedding-related topics get a woman a fired up as a discussion about bridesmaids’ dresses.   They are typically expensive, unflattering, and often impossible to wear again - regardless of what the most well-meaning bride tells you.

Goodness knows, I’ve had to purchase my share of doozies.  In order to protect the guilty,  I won’t specifically describe any of the gowns that I’ve had the “opportunity” to wear, but let’s just say that I’ve had to adorn myself more than one dress that didn’t quite fit.  Flat-chested brides just don’t understand the plight of the big-busted girl, and nothing illustrates this better than a bridal party.  Check it out next time you’re at a wedding - there is at least one attendant in every wedding party that is excruciatingly uncomfortable in her dress, and it’s not always the fat girl.

A fresh approach 

I’ll be standing up for a dear friend who is getting married this August - she’s taking a pretty cool approach that I am duplicating in my own wedding.  She’s going with a black-and-white theme and all of her bridesmaids have been directed to choose a black, knee-to-tea length dress to wear to the ceremony.  The only rules:  no sequins, no lace, control the cleavage. 

Simple, right?  

Within the next week, nearly every LBD (little black dress) without sequins or lace that’s available for purchase online will arrive at my door.  Prices vary from $20.95 (on sale!) to $90 - I’m hopeful that at least one fits.  Otherwise I’m going to my back-up dress (I could get years of mileage out of this Nicole Miller number - I love everything about it except the price!)

My decision 

As for my maids, they have been instructed to wear a LBD (little brown dress) as well.  I don’t care about cut, shade, print, or fabric - the only condition is that it has to be a dress that they will absolutely wear again.   

But really, how many women seek out a brown dress?  I’m guessing very few.  So my attendants will be stuck with a dress that they would never pick out on their own - but at least they can wear something that they feel good in.

Final thoughts 

Dressing the female members in a bridal party is a tricky business.  Letting them choose their own attire is risky - give a girl too much leeway, and she may disappoint with a cut-down-to there v-neck or opt for something with a strange silhouette.  Dictate a dress for everyone and live with the resulting complaints. 

What’s a bride to do?

Related links:

Weddings and the Psychology of Spending

Would You Hire this Woman to Cater Your Wedding?

9 Comments

Posted by Heidi on July 4th, 2008 in Week in Review

I’ve been unusually unplugged this week - I’m enjoying the respite, but will be ready to get back onto the blogging grove next week.  In the meantime, here are some holiday-related links.

JD at Get Rick Slowly is requesting your Financial Success Stories over the long weekend - I’m hoping to write my “paid off $17k in credit card debt” post sometime next year.

Gonzo Banker Tripp Johnson sets off fireworks with his rant on ATM fees - a nice peak into a financial services consultant’s thoughts on ATM fee gouging. 

On Simplicity’s Sara offers up thoughts on “Redefining the American Dream.” I recently had a personal “ah-ha!” moment related to this - I may be sharing more on that in a future post.

Our holiday weekend is shaping up rather nicely.  Matt and I have houseguests tonight and will be attending an outdoor music festival today and tomorrow.  We also plan on getting at least one 40+ mile bike ride in (we have a major ride coming up and need to get serious about training).

Happy Independence Day, all!  

Please share your plans for the 4th in the comments section below.

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Posted by Heidi on July 1st, 2008 in credit cards, debt, saving

I just finished calculating my second quarter net worth, and I’m less than pleased with the numbers.  As you can see, my net worth has actually decreased since first quarter end. 

Here’s how my mid-year financials have shaped up:

There are a few of things going on here.  First of all, my retirement savings took a substantial hit due to the fun stuff that’s been going on with the market.  Second, I wasn’t able to save quite as aggressively this quarter - my tax return and my work bonus were both paid out in Q1, which helped boost my savings and pay down debt. 

It’s disheartening to see the market erode the value of my 401(k) so significantly, but as I have mentioned before - I’m in this for the long haul and taking advantage of dollar cost averaging.   The silver lining is gthat my net worth is still trending upward for the year, and there is an outside chance (if the market would cooperate) that I could end up even for the year.

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Posted by Heidi on July 1st, 2008 in frugal

Yesterday, while driving home from work, I saw a woman in a crisp shirt, beautifully tailored pants, and three inch heels - riding a moutain bike down a busy downtown street.

Love it.

6 Comments

Posted by Heidi on June 27th, 2008 in About BankerGirl, food, wedding

My fiancé is enjoying a bachelor party “fishing” trip this weekend (fishing is in quotes because I am pretty sure he didn’t pack a fishing pole).  Right about now I imagine he is drinking homebrew and smoking cigars while sitting around the campfire with his closest friends.  That’s his version of heaven and I couldn’t be happier for him.

This leaves me (and Gretchen) home alone for the weekend - with no plans, no commitments, no responsibilities.  Matt and I rarely have an unstructured weekend, and here I am with 48 hours to do anything I want.

What a luxury!

What a treat!

What do I do with all of this ‘found’ time?

My first thought was to clean.  I decided that was crazy and a complete waste of these gifted days.

I thought about going to visit family or making a long trip to see an old college friend for a few hours.  I dismissed these thoughts as well.

I even considered going into work.  I’ve put in a couple of 12+ hour days this week, but there’s a pile of stuff that still needs my fairly immediate attention.  It will still be there on Monday.

Most people don’t know this about me, but I’m a bit of an introvert.  I haven’t had the opportunity to recharge my batteries lately, and upon reading this post by Sara at On Simplicity, I was reminded that I could use some “me” time.

So, I’ve decided to use this weekend to have my own little party of one - I plan to do all of the stuff I love most, and I’m going solo.  I’m not going to call my friends, and I’m not going to visit my family.  I’m going to spend the weekend in nobody’s company but my own.

On Saturday, I’m going to take myself on a day-long date.  After the farmers’ market, I’m going to sit on the deck with a piece of brain-candy fiction and a pot of coffee.  I’m going for an extra-long bike ride and will take the dog for a stroll down to the neighborhood malt shop.  I’m going to prepare my favorite foods (Matt has never shared my appreciation of crab legs or bacon, lettuce, avocado, & tomato salads), and then maybe go see Sex in the City or some other chick flick. 

I can’t remember the last time I read fiction or saw a movie that didn’t feature gunplay.

I better get started right now.

What would you do given the gift of 48 hours of your own?

6 Comments

Posted by Heidi on June 24th, 2008 in frugal

The farmers’ market is easily my favorite form of free entertainment.  Barring that, here is my list of free or cheap summer activities.

1. Go for a bike ride

I have already written about “our loop” - and riding is a great way to have fun while getting some exercise.

2. Host a card party

When I was really young, my parents were in a card club.  It consisted of six couples who got together on a monthly basis to eat (classic 70’s party food - I distinctly remember little smokies and bacon-wrapped water chestnuts), drink (my father would make a punch out of whatever happened to be in the liquor cabinet), and play 500. 

You don’t need to put on a big spread or know how to play bridge and Texas hold ‘em to host a card party.  You can potluck it (my parents often did this) and play blackjack or king’s corners.  

Not interested in a big gathering?  You can have a party of two and play cribbage or war.

3. Consider camping

To be honest, I’m not much of a camper - I very much enjoy sleeping on a real mattress  - but every once in awhile we’ll pack up Matt’s camping trunk and throw the sleeping bags in the car and spend a night under the stars (actually, we sleep in a tent, but you get the idea).  My favorite part is the campfire cooking.  And being back in my own bed the next night.

4. Meet the neighbors

I live in a groovy little neighborhood where people are always planning fun, free activities that are open to the public.  Saturday nights bring free movies in the park or live music on main street.  During weeknights there is adult four-square tourney at the junior high school playground, or if you’re not the athletic type, you can enjoy a wine tasting at the locally-owned bookstore.

5. Hit happy hour

Back in my college days, I knew which restaurant or bar had the best drink specials and the tastiest free food.  In my old age, I forgot about how much fun (and how inexpensive!) a Friday night happy hour can be.  Now I work with some recent college grads that have the inside scoop on where to score the good deals - I feel like I’m 21 again and am reliving my glory days on the cheap.

6. Hold a Wii tournament

I’ll be the first to admit that a Wii isn’t exactly a frugal purchase, but if you already have one - you should use it!  It’s the perfect thing to pull out on a rainy or humid summer’s day.  My family enjoys the tennis and bowling games that come with the console - and it’s a riot watching how competitive my brothers-in-law become with their little Mii’s. 

7. Go house hunting

I’m sure that realtors out there are who are less than thrilled by this suggestion, but Matt and I are continually on the look-out for our perfect home (by “perfect” I mean one in our current neighborhood with a flat driveway, two-car garage, and bigger kitchen - for about the same price as our current house).   We realize that our chances of finding such a place are highly unlikely, but that doesn’t stop us for spending the occasional Sunday afternoon “lookie-looing” just in case.

8. Take a hike

There is a state part about an hour from our house that has beautiful scenery, challenging trails, and lots of wildlife.  On those rare weekend afternoons when we have no plan, we’ll pack a picnic and bring the dog for an afternoon of walking along the scenic cliffs.

Now that summer is upon us, what are your suggestions for entertaining on the cheap?

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